Hello friends!
So it has been a VERY long time since the last time I blogged and I figured the time has come for me to take it back up again. I found that blogging during my student teaching last year really helped me to process what was going on in my life and I feel like I need that again.
I've been busy, as you might have guessed. I was musical director for The Music Man from January through April. I also got a job working at a renovating company keeping books and answering phones! I mean, it's not my dream job but it lets me do graduate work during the down time. Oh, yeah, I'm a graduate student now! I'm studying education (again) in the hopes of expanding my license as well as furthering my understanding of teaching! Along with graduate school and the above mentioned renovating job, I also work at a Catholic school one day a week teaching music and I recently accepted a position as a PARA working with special needs kids! I'm also trying to get back into performing. Auditions for Sister Act are in December and I'm planning on auditioning. Even if I just get chorus, it'll be lots of fun!
Truth be told, however, I haven't been keeping up with the blog just because I got busy, although that is a major part of it. There have been so many thoughts and emotions swirling through my brain that I was afraid to blog. Trust me, if I had tried at a certain point, it just would have been a jumbled mess of anger, disappointment, and fear. There is enough word vomit on the internet so I really didn't feel the need to contribute to that.
Honestly, this year has been hard. Post-grad life is confusing, messy, and not nearly as nice as I hoped it might be. My first year out in the world has changed me and I haven't been reacting well to the changes. The biggest change in me has been my loss of optimism. Granted, it is still there in spurts, however, it used to be immensely easy for me to believe that everything was going to be okay one way or the other. I know that might sound naive but I truly believed that everything happened for a reason and that everything would work out for the best.
Now a days, that's harder to believe. I think it's because for the first time in my life this past year, I believed that something was going to be okay, and it wasn't. Not just, "I have faith that this minor fight with a person will work out." No. Something happened earlier this year in which I truly believed that this really bad situation was going to work out for the best, but then it didn't. In fact, the worst thing that could have possibly happened, happened. This coupled along with a few other tragic events in my life and in the lives of those around me have left me very shaken. It's hard to be optimistic when it feels like everything in your life is going wrong.
Since all of this happened, I've been feeling a bit lost and I definitely haven't been acting like myself lately. There are days that it feels like I'm watching someone else live my life because I would never throw a fit about that or act jealous or cry as many times as this girl has. Then I come back to myself and I realize that it is me doing those things and I'm stuck here wondering why.
This blog post answers, or attempts to answer, that question. I feel like I must be on the right track because there is a sense of calm that came over me when I realized that my eternal optimism seems to be on hiatus. I hope it comes back. I'm sure it will although I'm just as sure that it won't be the same. That's part of adulting too, I suppose - learning to be positive in the face of negativity. We all have had a moment where we personally experience the worst possible outcome of a situation. We have all experienced the feelings of confusion, depression, anger, and fear that comes with that. I don't think it's a bad thing though. In the end, these kinds of experiences shape us. They make us or break us and I will not be broken. The key is just figuring out how to continue to be optimistic and believe the best in people when the worst has happened to you and your loved ones.
Thankfully things have been getting better lately. My fiancé continues to be a loving and understanding support in my life, despite my random outburst of frustration and depression. My parents continue to listen and support me while I work through my first year of "real life." My friends in Ohio, Minnesota, and Panama have all been wonderful in cheering me up and keeping me happy. The biggest adulting lesson I can take away from this year can be summarized thusly:
Life is going to knock you down, hard. Let those around you help you back up and support you until you can stand again.
Sunday, October 9, 2016
Sunday, January 10, 2016
I'm Back! Life as a Post-Grad and Thoughts on Facebook
Hello friends!
It's been awhile, hasn't it? I figured with the holiday season, we all deserved a break - me from writing and you from reading. I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday and if you didn't, I hope the return to normalcy has given you comfort. I myself had a wonderful holiday with my family! It was great to see and talk to everyone that I haven't seen since last April, not to mention all the marvelous food that was ingested. I think I gained at least five pounds over the last three weeks but it was worth it. I've been blessed with good cooks on my side of the family, as well as Garrison's side of the family so how could I possibly turn down the chance to eat like a queen after four and a half years of college food? You're right, I couldn't.
If you hadn't figured it out, yes, I did survive my student teaching. It was a great experience and I learned a great deal from both of my cooperating teachers as well as my students. There were definitely some challenging days but I worked through them and had some great days as well. My favorite part of my elementary placement was teaching my fifth grade students how to play the baritone ukulele. They did very well and I am very proud of them for their perseverance and hard work. I also finished edTPA! YAY!!!! Granted, I finally turned it in three days ago when I really should have got it done sooner but hey, its done and I feel free! FREEDOM!
So, now what? Post-graduate life is such a nebulous time for some of us. Since I'm working on transferring my Minnesota teaching license to Ohio, I'm in a weird holding pattern. For now, I'm the vocal director for my high school alma mater's musical and I will also start working at Cheddar's as a waitress on Tuesday. So between the two, I think I'll be able to scrape by until I get a teaching job. It also helps that my parents are letting me live at home for a while.
During my copious amounts of down time, I've been spending a great deal of time on Facebook. One question has struck me again and again: Why do we treat our statuses like psychologist appointments instead of reaching out to actual people in our lives?
This question has really bothered me for the past three weeks. Although, I can assume the answer is that there is less risk involved with talking to the passive audience of the internet compared to the risk involved with talking to a real person who could possibly hurt you. However, you can only build meaningful relationships when you take a risk and let in the people who are around you. While it is harder to express your honest feelings and thoughts to those around you, it is the only genuine way that you can let someone into your heart and foster a positive and loving relationship that is real and beneficial.
So, TAKE A RISK PEOPLE! Make meaningful relationships with those around you and talk to them (really talk) about your important thoughts and feelings (even the unimportant ones) instead of Facebook. Take a chance and show those people what you're really feeling and thinking. Trust me, I know it's a big investment but with enough care and continual honesty on both sides, those relationships will help you to define yourself.
Now for the grain of salt. As most know, those with whom you choose to make meaningful relationships have a huge impact on who you are, who you will continue to become, and how you define yourself. So, foster these kinds of relationships with people who will be a positive influence on your life. Choose to surround yourself with people who represent that person you want to be. And always, always, use your head. Always, always think for yourself. Relationships are great and fulfilling, but only those relationships that enhance who you are instead of trying to change who you are. Your relationships should help you figure out who you are, not tell you who you are.
Well, there you have it, relationship advice of the non-romantic kind! I wonder if this is a first for the internet? Probably not for the internet is vast and contains the ramblings of millions of people. No way this is a first but hopefully it is not the last! Thanks for reading and feel free to comment on what you think about what I wrote. Discussions are my favorite, as long as they are conducted in a mature manner, which also might be new for the internet.
'Till Sunday!
Jamie
It's been awhile, hasn't it? I figured with the holiday season, we all deserved a break - me from writing and you from reading. I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday and if you didn't, I hope the return to normalcy has given you comfort. I myself had a wonderful holiday with my family! It was great to see and talk to everyone that I haven't seen since last April, not to mention all the marvelous food that was ingested. I think I gained at least five pounds over the last three weeks but it was worth it. I've been blessed with good cooks on my side of the family, as well as Garrison's side of the family so how could I possibly turn down the chance to eat like a queen after four and a half years of college food? You're right, I couldn't.
If you hadn't figured it out, yes, I did survive my student teaching. It was a great experience and I learned a great deal from both of my cooperating teachers as well as my students. There were definitely some challenging days but I worked through them and had some great days as well. My favorite part of my elementary placement was teaching my fifth grade students how to play the baritone ukulele. They did very well and I am very proud of them for their perseverance and hard work. I also finished edTPA! YAY!!!! Granted, I finally turned it in three days ago when I really should have got it done sooner but hey, its done and I feel free! FREEDOM!
So, now what? Post-graduate life is such a nebulous time for some of us. Since I'm working on transferring my Minnesota teaching license to Ohio, I'm in a weird holding pattern. For now, I'm the vocal director for my high school alma mater's musical and I will also start working at Cheddar's as a waitress on Tuesday. So between the two, I think I'll be able to scrape by until I get a teaching job. It also helps that my parents are letting me live at home for a while.
During my copious amounts of down time, I've been spending a great deal of time on Facebook. One question has struck me again and again: Why do we treat our statuses like psychologist appointments instead of reaching out to actual people in our lives?
This question has really bothered me for the past three weeks. Although, I can assume the answer is that there is less risk involved with talking to the passive audience of the internet compared to the risk involved with talking to a real person who could possibly hurt you. However, you can only build meaningful relationships when you take a risk and let in the people who are around you. While it is harder to express your honest feelings and thoughts to those around you, it is the only genuine way that you can let someone into your heart and foster a positive and loving relationship that is real and beneficial.
So, TAKE A RISK PEOPLE! Make meaningful relationships with those around you and talk to them (really talk) about your important thoughts and feelings (even the unimportant ones) instead of Facebook. Take a chance and show those people what you're really feeling and thinking. Trust me, I know it's a big investment but with enough care and continual honesty on both sides, those relationships will help you to define yourself.
Now for the grain of salt. As most know, those with whom you choose to make meaningful relationships have a huge impact on who you are, who you will continue to become, and how you define yourself. So, foster these kinds of relationships with people who will be a positive influence on your life. Choose to surround yourself with people who represent that person you want to be. And always, always, use your head. Always, always think for yourself. Relationships are great and fulfilling, but only those relationships that enhance who you are instead of trying to change who you are. Your relationships should help you figure out who you are, not tell you who you are.
Well, there you have it, relationship advice of the non-romantic kind! I wonder if this is a first for the internet? Probably not for the internet is vast and contains the ramblings of millions of people. No way this is a first but hopefully it is not the last! Thanks for reading and feel free to comment on what you think about what I wrote. Discussions are my favorite, as long as they are conducted in a mature manner, which also might be new for the internet.
'Till Sunday!
Jamie
Monday, December 14, 2015
When You Just Can't
Hello friends!
Everyone has those moments where you just can't. Many of us might be at that moment right now. I have a feeling that a great many of those people might reside on this campus because, my friends, finals week is upon us. Today was the last full day of classes. Tomorrow is study day with four days of finals after that. Many are realising that perhaps procrastinating was not the best idea they've ever had.
I might or might not be one of those people, but, in my defense, I do teach all day. So yes, you're right, I have a truckload to get done this week. However, I feel like I need to defend my procrastination just a little bit. It can be very hard to motivate yourself to do more work when you have been working all day. I also lost all of Saturday as a work day because of being sick. However, I can somehow sense that this is a truth of adulthood that I need to learn to accept. Teaching is not a profession in which you can leave your work at work. It has a way of creeping home with you. That or you stay at the school past dinner time.
So, this evening was one of those evenings that I felt I just couldn't. I was sitting here, working on the technology section of my unit plan and I just couldn't even process what the questions were asking. Fun fact: once I could process what they were asking, I realized that they were asking me the same question ten different times with ten different phrasings. As my friend who is also an education major has aptly said, we should also get a degree in bullshit along with our teaching license.
If you know a teacher, you know what we mean. All those questions about how you are going to support student learning while engaging the students in the standards of your curriculum with the help of technology all the while juggling on a unicycle. You know, standard questions. The trick is, the answer is almost always the same or at least takes the same kind of format. In simplest terms, it becomes a really boring game of Mad Libs. For example: "I supported student learning by (insert educational theory here). These students were supported because (insert the exact same educational theory but with different wording). I assessed if my students were supported adequately because (insert new educational theory but tie it back to the old one)."
However, I am not saying that those questions are invalid or unimportant. They are questions that all educators should be asking themselves with every lesson the plan. We need to support all of our students in their learning and I would never try to say that's not important. However, once you've asked me the same question ten different times about the same lesson, I start to get just a little annoyed. In any case, I will endure and answer these seemingly endless questions because my students are worth it.
I guess that's what it all comes down to. You look into the eyes of your students, and most days, it's totally worth it. Granted, today was not one of those days for me. A long part of the walk I took to the music building and back to my apartment was spent wondering if I really wanted to endure endless paperwork and children's attitudes for the rest of my life. However, as I've come to discover, I think all teachers have days like that. It also doesn't help that I'm getting over a cold and I don't feel very good. That's why I have an awesome roommate who, upon hearing my plight and mood, pulled up "I Just Can't Wait to be King" from Lion King and we jammed out. You're right, I felt a lot better after that.
I somehow mustered up the willpower to get the technology part of my unit plan finished. Well, almost finished. I have two questions left, okay? My brain just decided that it was done for the day. Also, when your answers start becoming snide remarks with some profanity thrown in, you should probably stop and try again tomorrow.
My adulting lesson of the week: learning how to persevere even though I really really really REALLY want to go to bed or do literally, anything else. On a positive note, I get to see my family and fiance at the end of the week so that's super exciting!
'Til Next Time,
Jamie
Everyone has those moments where you just can't. Many of us might be at that moment right now. I have a feeling that a great many of those people might reside on this campus because, my friends, finals week is upon us. Today was the last full day of classes. Tomorrow is study day with four days of finals after that. Many are realising that perhaps procrastinating was not the best idea they've ever had.
I might or might not be one of those people, but, in my defense, I do teach all day. So yes, you're right, I have a truckload to get done this week. However, I feel like I need to defend my procrastination just a little bit. It can be very hard to motivate yourself to do more work when you have been working all day. I also lost all of Saturday as a work day because of being sick. However, I can somehow sense that this is a truth of adulthood that I need to learn to accept. Teaching is not a profession in which you can leave your work at work. It has a way of creeping home with you. That or you stay at the school past dinner time.
So, this evening was one of those evenings that I felt I just couldn't. I was sitting here, working on the technology section of my unit plan and I just couldn't even process what the questions were asking. Fun fact: once I could process what they were asking, I realized that they were asking me the same question ten different times with ten different phrasings. As my friend who is also an education major has aptly said, we should also get a degree in bullshit along with our teaching license.
If you know a teacher, you know what we mean. All those questions about how you are going to support student learning while engaging the students in the standards of your curriculum with the help of technology all the while juggling on a unicycle. You know, standard questions. The trick is, the answer is almost always the same or at least takes the same kind of format. In simplest terms, it becomes a really boring game of Mad Libs. For example: "I supported student learning by (insert educational theory here). These students were supported because (insert the exact same educational theory but with different wording). I assessed if my students were supported adequately because (insert new educational theory but tie it back to the old one)."
However, I am not saying that those questions are invalid or unimportant. They are questions that all educators should be asking themselves with every lesson the plan. We need to support all of our students in their learning and I would never try to say that's not important. However, once you've asked me the same question ten different times about the same lesson, I start to get just a little annoyed. In any case, I will endure and answer these seemingly endless questions because my students are worth it.
I guess that's what it all comes down to. You look into the eyes of your students, and most days, it's totally worth it. Granted, today was not one of those days for me. A long part of the walk I took to the music building and back to my apartment was spent wondering if I really wanted to endure endless paperwork and children's attitudes for the rest of my life. However, as I've come to discover, I think all teachers have days like that. It also doesn't help that I'm getting over a cold and I don't feel very good. That's why I have an awesome roommate who, upon hearing my plight and mood, pulled up "I Just Can't Wait to be King" from Lion King and we jammed out. You're right, I felt a lot better after that.
I somehow mustered up the willpower to get the technology part of my unit plan finished. Well, almost finished. I have two questions left, okay? My brain just decided that it was done for the day. Also, when your answers start becoming snide remarks with some profanity thrown in, you should probably stop and try again tomorrow.
My adulting lesson of the week: learning how to persevere even though I really really really REALLY want to go to bed or do literally, anything else. On a positive note, I get to see my family and fiance at the end of the week so that's super exciting!
'Til Next Time,
Jamie
Monday, December 7, 2015
Chasing Your Dream
Hello friends!
Welcome to the blog post that should be titled, "Maybe This Should Be a Monday Blog." Sorry I'm late again, it was just a very long weekend. My college had a FANTASTIC Christmas concert this past weekend featuring all of the audition choirs. The concert takes place twice on campus and then once in the nearest big city at the basilica. I was setting myself up for sadness this past week because it was my first year that I wasn't going to be in it myself. Chamber Choir performing without me? I didn't even know that was legal.
Well, apparently it's not completely legal because I ended filling in for someone who was singing a quartet with some of the other music faculty on campus, including my voice teacher and another wonderful voice teacher on campus. While I have to say the reason for my having to fill in was not a happy one, I'm glad I had such a wonderful opportunity. Singing with my voice teacher of the past four years who has a doctorate in music and has performed in several operas is quite literally a dream come true. I felt honored that I was chosen to fill in at the last minute instead of one of the other music faculty around. It was one of the highest compliments that I have received to date on the quality of my voice and all of the hard work I've done. Needless to say, after three performances in two days plus a total of three hours on a bus, Jamie was not ready to be productive on Sunday.
Well, not to make an ego trip out of this blog, the point is that I was able to continue to be involved with a Christmas tradition that has been a part of my life for four years (now five years!). I was able to do one of my favorite things in the entire world: perform. I recently realized how much I love performing. I feel like I should have known this, given the fact that half of my major is vocal performance. Apparently, I'm pretty dense, even when I'm the one talking to myself. To my credit though, performing has been a part of my life since I was in fifth grade and it's hard to realize what you are missing until it's gone. Well, suddenly this semester, I haven't been performing much at all. Let me tell you guys, I miss it. I miss singing, practicing, refining, and everything that goes along with performing, even the frustrating hours in the practice room. It's like a part of my life is missing.
I can just hear some of the eye rolls. "Jamie, there is more to life than showing off your voice to the world." Trust me, if that was all performing was to me, I would have stopped a long time ago. Performing gives me this feeling of completeness and joy that I haven't found in anything else. I love inserting myself into the soul and emotion of someone else through song. I love putting myself in character to reflect what the speaker of the piece wishes to convey. I love bringing a song to life and conveying that feeling to others. I feel that I can truly share myself with others when I sing.
As a result, I've been thinking about doing some performing when I get back home. I'd like to do my senior recital from college at home (you know, if people want to hear it). More than that though, I've started to consider going to graduate school for vocal performance or opera. Then I remember the mounting student debt I have and how performers don't exactly have a steady paycheck while teachers do. I also then remember the mountains of people that are better than me. But shouldn't I at least try?
Behold, my next adulting conundrum: do I chase my dream? Everyone always tells you to go after your dream because you don't want to look back and regret not even trying. The thing is, it feels like my dream changes. Although, maybe this is always a dream I've had. It wasn't something I considered seriously until recently but I suppose the thought has always been there. Either way, the idea of chasing something like going to graduate school for voice is pretty terrifying. Graduate school costs so much money and I already have a great deal of debt to the government (next topic for the blog: how ridiculously college is in the states?). And what will I get out of it? Will it be worth it? Or will I be content to perform in my community and go after a graduate degree in education?
I just don't know. I don't know what the future truly holds for me but I suppose that's okay. What I do know, is that I plan on teaching for the next couple of years so that I can start to pay back some of those loans. I do know that I'm going home to my family to spend some much needed time with them. I do know the road will continue to be hard, especially in the area of teaching. I'm procrastinating writing up those lesson plans as I type. Give me some credit though, I've finished three of them. Only two more to go!
One thing is certain: I will find ways to perform again. Even if its just for ten people who truly find joy in what I sing, I will perform. I will continue to share and express in emotion in a way that is unique to me. I will also continue to sing my heart out to the radio because hey, who doesn't feel like a rockstar when they do that?
Later 'gators,
Jamie
Welcome to the blog post that should be titled, "Maybe This Should Be a Monday Blog." Sorry I'm late again, it was just a very long weekend. My college had a FANTASTIC Christmas concert this past weekend featuring all of the audition choirs. The concert takes place twice on campus and then once in the nearest big city at the basilica. I was setting myself up for sadness this past week because it was my first year that I wasn't going to be in it myself. Chamber Choir performing without me? I didn't even know that was legal.
Well, apparently it's not completely legal because I ended filling in for someone who was singing a quartet with some of the other music faculty on campus, including my voice teacher and another wonderful voice teacher on campus. While I have to say the reason for my having to fill in was not a happy one, I'm glad I had such a wonderful opportunity. Singing with my voice teacher of the past four years who has a doctorate in music and has performed in several operas is quite literally a dream come true. I felt honored that I was chosen to fill in at the last minute instead of one of the other music faculty around. It was one of the highest compliments that I have received to date on the quality of my voice and all of the hard work I've done. Needless to say, after three performances in two days plus a total of three hours on a bus, Jamie was not ready to be productive on Sunday.
Well, not to make an ego trip out of this blog, the point is that I was able to continue to be involved with a Christmas tradition that has been a part of my life for four years (now five years!). I was able to do one of my favorite things in the entire world: perform. I recently realized how much I love performing. I feel like I should have known this, given the fact that half of my major is vocal performance. Apparently, I'm pretty dense, even when I'm the one talking to myself. To my credit though, performing has been a part of my life since I was in fifth grade and it's hard to realize what you are missing until it's gone. Well, suddenly this semester, I haven't been performing much at all. Let me tell you guys, I miss it. I miss singing, practicing, refining, and everything that goes along with performing, even the frustrating hours in the practice room. It's like a part of my life is missing.
I can just hear some of the eye rolls. "Jamie, there is more to life than showing off your voice to the world." Trust me, if that was all performing was to me, I would have stopped a long time ago. Performing gives me this feeling of completeness and joy that I haven't found in anything else. I love inserting myself into the soul and emotion of someone else through song. I love putting myself in character to reflect what the speaker of the piece wishes to convey. I love bringing a song to life and conveying that feeling to others. I feel that I can truly share myself with others when I sing.
As a result, I've been thinking about doing some performing when I get back home. I'd like to do my senior recital from college at home (you know, if people want to hear it). More than that though, I've started to consider going to graduate school for vocal performance or opera. Then I remember the mounting student debt I have and how performers don't exactly have a steady paycheck while teachers do. I also then remember the mountains of people that are better than me. But shouldn't I at least try?
Behold, my next adulting conundrum: do I chase my dream? Everyone always tells you to go after your dream because you don't want to look back and regret not even trying. The thing is, it feels like my dream changes. Although, maybe this is always a dream I've had. It wasn't something I considered seriously until recently but I suppose the thought has always been there. Either way, the idea of chasing something like going to graduate school for voice is pretty terrifying. Graduate school costs so much money and I already have a great deal of debt to the government (next topic for the blog: how ridiculously college is in the states?). And what will I get out of it? Will it be worth it? Or will I be content to perform in my community and go after a graduate degree in education?
I just don't know. I don't know what the future truly holds for me but I suppose that's okay. What I do know, is that I plan on teaching for the next couple of years so that I can start to pay back some of those loans. I do know that I'm going home to my family to spend some much needed time with them. I do know the road will continue to be hard, especially in the area of teaching. I'm procrastinating writing up those lesson plans as I type. Give me some credit though, I've finished three of them. Only two more to go!
One thing is certain: I will find ways to perform again. Even if its just for ten people who truly find joy in what I sing, I will perform. I will continue to share and express in emotion in a way that is unique to me. I will also continue to sing my heart out to the radio because hey, who doesn't feel like a rockstar when they do that?
Later 'gators,
Jamie
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
We Celebrate Our Family Time
Hello friends!
I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving this past week (if you celebrate Thanksgiving)! I know I did. Luckily, I was able to go home for Thanksgiving and spend some much needed time with my family. I counted and it had been seven months since I had been home. Seven months! Let me tell you, the people at home really change when seven months go by, especially when those family members are children and teenagers. I have two nieces, one that is 17 and one that is 9, as well as a nephew who is 16. Wow, just, wow. WHEN DID THEY GET SO OLD???? My nephew has facial hair! FACIAL HAIR!
Regardless of all the changes that happened while I was gone, it was great to see my family and friends again. My family has been through alot this past year so it was great to see them all together, in one piece, and laughing again. There was, of course, a great deal of food as well. One of my friends came home with me and by the end of our time in Ohio, we were both SICK of food. Not only did we have Thanksgiving at my house on Thursday, but we also had Thanksgiving with my fiance's family on Friday during the afternoon as well as dinner at a Mexican place with one of my best friends from high school. I think we waddled out of the restaurant. Needless to say, it was a food filled week, as I'm sure it was for most of you as well.
I would like to turn this blog to a slightly more happy topic, at least, happy for me. My family is amazing. Yes, just like all families, it's not perfect and there are plenty of issues that we have to deal with all the time. But when push comes to shove, my family has always been able to come together support each other. I never noticed how extremely lucky I am to have such a great family like that until I started meeting people whose families were not quite so supportive of each other. I now know that not all parents are supportive of their children or involved in their lives. I know that there are families that are torn apart and take a very long time to heal, if they ever do. I have also learned that those who are vulnerable in these situations such as the children, teens, or young adults, tend to find a family in their friends. If they can, these people often surround themselves with supportive friends who become like their family. This is the family they find support, love, and acceptance in. Even though this family does not share blood, it is still a legitimate form of family. I have to say that I've been greatly honored in my life and have joined such families with some of my friends.
I feel extremely spoiled because I definitely have both. I have a wonderful blood family and an equally wonderful extended family of friends. This past week, I learned the value of both of those families. I came away from my vacation feeling grounded, reassured, and able to take on the world. For some reason, I thought that as a grew older, I would rely on my parents and family less, but let me tell you, the opposite is true. As I continue to learn how to adult in this scary world of expectations, responsibilities, adventures, happinesses, political turmoil, and the like, I find myself looking more and more to my family for support and love. Adulting doesn't mean that you grow out of your family, it means that you grow into a new place in it. I'm not exactly sure what my new place is. I've possibly moved from minion to head gopher. You know, when your mom or dad tells you, "Go fer this, go fer that." You're the gopher.
I hope that all of you are able to go to your family, be it your blood related family or your friend family, and find the support, love, and acceptance that you need. I hope that those people who feel they have neither will be able to reach out to those closest to them and find that family that we all need. In a world that is becoming more and more individualistic, I hope we don't lose sight of what's important: your relationships with other people. I challenge both you and myself to keep reaching out and talking to those around you. Foster those relationships as much as you can because the older I get (not that I'm old but you get what I mean) the more I realize that it's those relationships and connections that give meaning to my life.
Today, I leave you with this song from the elementary concert:
"Turkey and dressing's on the table,
Sweet pumpkin pie is mighty fine.
Brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles,
We celebrate our family time.
Hands and hearts, hearts and hands,
join to stretch across the land."
See you next week!
- Jamie
I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving this past week (if you celebrate Thanksgiving)! I know I did. Luckily, I was able to go home for Thanksgiving and spend some much needed time with my family. I counted and it had been seven months since I had been home. Seven months! Let me tell you, the people at home really change when seven months go by, especially when those family members are children and teenagers. I have two nieces, one that is 17 and one that is 9, as well as a nephew who is 16. Wow, just, wow. WHEN DID THEY GET SO OLD???? My nephew has facial hair! FACIAL HAIR!
Regardless of all the changes that happened while I was gone, it was great to see my family and friends again. My family has been through alot this past year so it was great to see them all together, in one piece, and laughing again. There was, of course, a great deal of food as well. One of my friends came home with me and by the end of our time in Ohio, we were both SICK of food. Not only did we have Thanksgiving at my house on Thursday, but we also had Thanksgiving with my fiance's family on Friday during the afternoon as well as dinner at a Mexican place with one of my best friends from high school. I think we waddled out of the restaurant. Needless to say, it was a food filled week, as I'm sure it was for most of you as well.
I would like to turn this blog to a slightly more happy topic, at least, happy for me. My family is amazing. Yes, just like all families, it's not perfect and there are plenty of issues that we have to deal with all the time. But when push comes to shove, my family has always been able to come together support each other. I never noticed how extremely lucky I am to have such a great family like that until I started meeting people whose families were not quite so supportive of each other. I now know that not all parents are supportive of their children or involved in their lives. I know that there are families that are torn apart and take a very long time to heal, if they ever do. I have also learned that those who are vulnerable in these situations such as the children, teens, or young adults, tend to find a family in their friends. If they can, these people often surround themselves with supportive friends who become like their family. This is the family they find support, love, and acceptance in. Even though this family does not share blood, it is still a legitimate form of family. I have to say that I've been greatly honored in my life and have joined such families with some of my friends.
I feel extremely spoiled because I definitely have both. I have a wonderful blood family and an equally wonderful extended family of friends. This past week, I learned the value of both of those families. I came away from my vacation feeling grounded, reassured, and able to take on the world. For some reason, I thought that as a grew older, I would rely on my parents and family less, but let me tell you, the opposite is true. As I continue to learn how to adult in this scary world of expectations, responsibilities, adventures, happinesses, political turmoil, and the like, I find myself looking more and more to my family for support and love. Adulting doesn't mean that you grow out of your family, it means that you grow into a new place in it. I'm not exactly sure what my new place is. I've possibly moved from minion to head gopher. You know, when your mom or dad tells you, "Go fer this, go fer that." You're the gopher.
I hope that all of you are able to go to your family, be it your blood related family or your friend family, and find the support, love, and acceptance that you need. I hope that those people who feel they have neither will be able to reach out to those closest to them and find that family that we all need. In a world that is becoming more and more individualistic, I hope we don't lose sight of what's important: your relationships with other people. I challenge both you and myself to keep reaching out and talking to those around you. Foster those relationships as much as you can because the older I get (not that I'm old but you get what I mean) the more I realize that it's those relationships and connections that give meaning to my life.
Today, I leave you with this song from the elementary concert:
"Turkey and dressing's on the table,
Sweet pumpkin pie is mighty fine.
Brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles,
We celebrate our family time.
Hands and hearts, hearts and hands,
join to stretch across the land."
See you next week!
- Jamie
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Ownership
Good evening friends!
You all would be proud of me I think because I have done a lot of adulting this past week and weekend. Student teaching continues to be a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Some days go great like on Tuesday when my 1st and 2nd grade students had their winter concert. They did such a great job. They were incredibly patient and stood quietly on those risers for 30 minutes straight. If you don't find this impressive, you should spend a couple of days in the presence of 6 and 7 year-olds. Their songs also went well and most importantly, they looked like they were having fun. Watch out world, my 1st and 2nd grade students are bringing some stellar singers your way! The only hiccup was that one of the students did start throwing up during the concert. My heart broke for her because she obviously wanted to be up there even though she didn't feel well. Also, if you are wondering, no, it still wasn't snowing but it did snow a little bit later in the week!
Some days aren't so great, like when one of my fifth grade classes has that one student who just doesn't want to listen to a thing you say and it really just ruins the entire class for you. The rest of the class was great, but it seems that I still continue to focus on what didn't go right, mostly because I really want him to enjoy the ukulele unit too! My cooperating teacher ended up speaking to him and he was supposed to apologize to me. He didn't but he did cooperate more that next class! It also just so happened that my 4th grade students rocked on their recorders so that really cheered my day up as well.
Something I've noticed with teaching is that your students really suck you in. I really do care so much about them and I want them all to find music as exciting and awesome as I do. So when there are those students who are a little less motivated than the rest, it becomes a game of "How do I get that student to be motivated about ukulele/recorder/Nutcracker/rhythms?" Of course, I suppose that's a good thing because then you are really doing your best to reach out to that student who, for whatever reason, needs a helping hand. I just have to remember to give attention to my other students as well. It's a very fine balance that I'm still figuring out.
Teaching definitely makes you into a very reflective person. A good teacher is always looking inside themselves and at their teaching to see what went well and what can be improved. A lot of times, especially in my experience, this also means admitting when you have made a mistake. This past week I made a small teaching mistake that really confused one of my fifth graders. It was a small change in the way some information was presented, a change I didn't even give a second thought to. Something I've now learned about children, they are not fans of change, especially change in something they are still just learning. Because I changed something so small, this one fifth grade student was so confused and frustrated that she was on the verge of giving up. After encouraging her and coaching her through, she eventually figured it out.
An apology was definitely in order. I apologized for confusing her, explaining that I had no idea such a change would confuse her so badly. I let her know that I was still learning too and that she had taught me a very valuable lesson. By the end of the hour, I think she had started to forgive me.
It's hard to admit you were wrong. It's hard to take ownership of your own screw ups. I see my elementary kids struggle with this concept everyday. It is much easier to convince ourselves that the other person who is upset just doesn't understand and doesn't have grounds for being as upset as they are. Guess what, it really doesn't matter. If you are responsible for offending someone, confusing someone, or hurting someone, an apology is always a good place to start. Adulting means taking responsibility for your actions, even if you are ashamed of those actions. It's hard to own when you've done something wrong, but it is the responsible thing to do.
As a closing, I just want to say how excited I am to be going home to see my family, friends, and fiance this week! I miss them very very much and it has been a long time since I've seen many of them. If you celebrate Thanksgiving, enjoy all of the family company, turkey, mashed potatoes, and fun stories! I'm sure I'll have some to share next week. If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, enjoy whatever days you get off as a result! Be safe, and please, don't go shopping on the night of Thanksgiving. Black Friday should stay in the confines of Friday and not spill over into the family time of others. To h.h.gregg - I don't like you because you are making my aunt work on Thanksgiving so you can sell objects that in the grand scheme of things don't matter. Thanks.
See you guys next week!
- Jamie
You all would be proud of me I think because I have done a lot of adulting this past week and weekend. Student teaching continues to be a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Some days go great like on Tuesday when my 1st and 2nd grade students had their winter concert. They did such a great job. They were incredibly patient and stood quietly on those risers for 30 minutes straight. If you don't find this impressive, you should spend a couple of days in the presence of 6 and 7 year-olds. Their songs also went well and most importantly, they looked like they were having fun. Watch out world, my 1st and 2nd grade students are bringing some stellar singers your way! The only hiccup was that one of the students did start throwing up during the concert. My heart broke for her because she obviously wanted to be up there even though she didn't feel well. Also, if you are wondering, no, it still wasn't snowing but it did snow a little bit later in the week!
Some days aren't so great, like when one of my fifth grade classes has that one student who just doesn't want to listen to a thing you say and it really just ruins the entire class for you. The rest of the class was great, but it seems that I still continue to focus on what didn't go right, mostly because I really want him to enjoy the ukulele unit too! My cooperating teacher ended up speaking to him and he was supposed to apologize to me. He didn't but he did cooperate more that next class! It also just so happened that my 4th grade students rocked on their recorders so that really cheered my day up as well.
Something I've noticed with teaching is that your students really suck you in. I really do care so much about them and I want them all to find music as exciting and awesome as I do. So when there are those students who are a little less motivated than the rest, it becomes a game of "How do I get that student to be motivated about ukulele/recorder/Nutcracker/rhythms?" Of course, I suppose that's a good thing because then you are really doing your best to reach out to that student who, for whatever reason, needs a helping hand. I just have to remember to give attention to my other students as well. It's a very fine balance that I'm still figuring out.
Teaching definitely makes you into a very reflective person. A good teacher is always looking inside themselves and at their teaching to see what went well and what can be improved. A lot of times, especially in my experience, this also means admitting when you have made a mistake. This past week I made a small teaching mistake that really confused one of my fifth graders. It was a small change in the way some information was presented, a change I didn't even give a second thought to. Something I've now learned about children, they are not fans of change, especially change in something they are still just learning. Because I changed something so small, this one fifth grade student was so confused and frustrated that she was on the verge of giving up. After encouraging her and coaching her through, she eventually figured it out.
An apology was definitely in order. I apologized for confusing her, explaining that I had no idea such a change would confuse her so badly. I let her know that I was still learning too and that she had taught me a very valuable lesson. By the end of the hour, I think she had started to forgive me.
It's hard to admit you were wrong. It's hard to take ownership of your own screw ups. I see my elementary kids struggle with this concept everyday. It is much easier to convince ourselves that the other person who is upset just doesn't understand and doesn't have grounds for being as upset as they are. Guess what, it really doesn't matter. If you are responsible for offending someone, confusing someone, or hurting someone, an apology is always a good place to start. Adulting means taking responsibility for your actions, even if you are ashamed of those actions. It's hard to own when you've done something wrong, but it is the responsible thing to do.
As a closing, I just want to say how excited I am to be going home to see my family, friends, and fiance this week! I miss them very very much and it has been a long time since I've seen many of them. If you celebrate Thanksgiving, enjoy all of the family company, turkey, mashed potatoes, and fun stories! I'm sure I'll have some to share next week. If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, enjoy whatever days you get off as a result! Be safe, and please, don't go shopping on the night of Thanksgiving. Black Friday should stay in the confines of Friday and not spill over into the family time of others. To h.h.gregg - I don't like you because you are making my aunt work on Thanksgiving so you can sell objects that in the grand scheme of things don't matter. Thanks.
See you guys next week!
- Jamie
Monday, November 16, 2015
So How Can I Help?
Good evening friends!
Well, the countdown has begun. A week from today, I need to upload my edTPA to the Pearson website. As I type these words, I might be holding an imminent panic attack at bay. Honestly, every time I start to work on edTPA, a panic attack usually ensues. The whole project is just so incredibly big! But, as I've told myself repeatedly, I just need to break it up into small chunks and make sure that I work on those chunks when I say I'm going to. So tomorrow I'm hoping to finish the rough draft of my planning commentary so that I can send it to my advisor to check. Maybe telling the internet will actually make me stick to my own deadlines.
But, this week isn't all work! There is indeed some play to be had! I'm very excited because tomorrow, the 1st and 2nd grade students at my elementary school are giving a winter concert, which is going to rock! Only, I'm not sure the weather knows that we are supposed to be giving a winter-ish concert. It was 60 degrees yesterday and sunny. Granted, it was rainy and 40s today but considering Minnesota has usually had at least one snowstorm by this time of year, rainy and 40s is down right strange. Just watch, next week, when I have to travel for 15 hours over the course of two days, there is going to be a huge snowstorm just because I said something. That's just my luck.
But enough about the weather! Lord knows you aren't interested in what the weather is like up here in the great white north. However, I'm sure all of you have read plenty about what happened in Paris this past Friday, as well as what's been happening in Beirut and Baghdad. This is all of course framed by the general refugee crisis currently going in Europe and Syria as well as the ISIS threat in general. Behold, my next adulting conundrum: wondering what I can possibly do with all this information?
Every day I hear more terrible news about the situation over in Europe and the Middle East. Another city has been bombed, there's been another attack on innocent people, and more people are dying in the streets. While I sit here at my computer, typing this post in my very nice town house that I share with three other women on an expensive laptop surrounded by my book collection and many penguin posters, there are thousands of people suffering right now who wish they could have the advantages that I've had. Maybe they just wish that they felt as safe as I do right now.
Even worse, these people who are suffering are under harsh criticism and scrutiny because we just can't tell who wants to seek asylum and aid versus who wants to hurt others on a massively terrifying scale. These people are suffering from the consequences of radicals' actions, not their own. Most likely, a majority of people don't even identify with the loud and violent minority that wants to bring harm and chaos.
But we are in a pickle too because we don't want to bring people to the United States who are going to harm us. But how can we refuse thousands of people who need help? It's quite the paradox to think about. Also, please know that I can see the validity in both sides of this argument. It's just that ethical and empathetic part of me can't condone turning away anyone who has need.
So I sit here wondering, what on Earth can I do? Because as an ethical and compassionate person, I want to help. However, I lack money to send humanitarian aid to these people. I lack the ability to leave and go to these areas and help who I can.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm not the only one that is at a loss as to what they can do to help this situation. The adulting conundrum is this: what are we supposed to do with all of the information the news gives us, especially when it is so contradictory from network to network, depending on the slant of the news station?
My solution so far is two-fold:
First, I will stay informed. I refuse to let this huge humanitarian travesty be put to the back of my mind, just so that I can stay "comfortable." I will continue to rely on unbiased (or, as unbiased as possible) news networks, such as NPR and MPR to keep me informed of what is happening to these people who only want safety and a place where they can live their lives in peace.
Second, I will continue to find a voice that I can give to this outcry. Yes, I am one voice of many, and yes, I don't know all the particulars of the entire situation that has blown up in Europe and the Middle East. I can't hope to come up with a solution but I can continue to make sure that these people aren't forgotten. I might not be able to do anything, but maybe by continuing talk about the immense tragedy and intense need for a solution, someone who can do something, will.
I always thought that when I grew up, I would have the power to make the world the way I wanted it to be. I'm starting to realize that trying to control the outcome of the entire world is a bit much for a college student to try and take on - especially a music major. But, I will continue to make my corner of the world as awesome and loving as I can. Maybe if we all do that, we can change the world together.
Lastly, I ask all my friends and family, as well as anyone reading this blog, to stay lovingly accepting of others while we all as a global nation process the tragedies that have occurred over the past couple of days. We all process differently, and maybe for some, like me, the only thing we could think to do at the time was change our profile picture filter to be that of the French flag. Trust me, when I did that, I was fully aware of the need for solidarity for all nations that have been affected by the unrest in the world. But it took me weeks to finally come up with coherent thoughts about the entire issue at hand. Some times, we feel like the only thing we can do is change our profile picture. #prayfortheworld
See you next week!
- Jamie
Well, the countdown has begun. A week from today, I need to upload my edTPA to the Pearson website. As I type these words, I might be holding an imminent panic attack at bay. Honestly, every time I start to work on edTPA, a panic attack usually ensues. The whole project is just so incredibly big! But, as I've told myself repeatedly, I just need to break it up into small chunks and make sure that I work on those chunks when I say I'm going to. So tomorrow I'm hoping to finish the rough draft of my planning commentary so that I can send it to my advisor to check. Maybe telling the internet will actually make me stick to my own deadlines.
But, this week isn't all work! There is indeed some play to be had! I'm very excited because tomorrow, the 1st and 2nd grade students at my elementary school are giving a winter concert, which is going to rock! Only, I'm not sure the weather knows that we are supposed to be giving a winter-ish concert. It was 60 degrees yesterday and sunny. Granted, it was rainy and 40s today but considering Minnesota has usually had at least one snowstorm by this time of year, rainy and 40s is down right strange. Just watch, next week, when I have to travel for 15 hours over the course of two days, there is going to be a huge snowstorm just because I said something. That's just my luck.
But enough about the weather! Lord knows you aren't interested in what the weather is like up here in the great white north. However, I'm sure all of you have read plenty about what happened in Paris this past Friday, as well as what's been happening in Beirut and Baghdad. This is all of course framed by the general refugee crisis currently going in Europe and Syria as well as the ISIS threat in general. Behold, my next adulting conundrum: wondering what I can possibly do with all this information?
Every day I hear more terrible news about the situation over in Europe and the Middle East. Another city has been bombed, there's been another attack on innocent people, and more people are dying in the streets. While I sit here at my computer, typing this post in my very nice town house that I share with three other women on an expensive laptop surrounded by my book collection and many penguin posters, there are thousands of people suffering right now who wish they could have the advantages that I've had. Maybe they just wish that they felt as safe as I do right now.
Even worse, these people who are suffering are under harsh criticism and scrutiny because we just can't tell who wants to seek asylum and aid versus who wants to hurt others on a massively terrifying scale. These people are suffering from the consequences of radicals' actions, not their own. Most likely, a majority of people don't even identify with the loud and violent minority that wants to bring harm and chaos.
But we are in a pickle too because we don't want to bring people to the United States who are going to harm us. But how can we refuse thousands of people who need help? It's quite the paradox to think about. Also, please know that I can see the validity in both sides of this argument. It's just that ethical and empathetic part of me can't condone turning away anyone who has need.
So I sit here wondering, what on Earth can I do? Because as an ethical and compassionate person, I want to help. However, I lack money to send humanitarian aid to these people. I lack the ability to leave and go to these areas and help who I can.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm not the only one that is at a loss as to what they can do to help this situation. The adulting conundrum is this: what are we supposed to do with all of the information the news gives us, especially when it is so contradictory from network to network, depending on the slant of the news station?
My solution so far is two-fold:
First, I will stay informed. I refuse to let this huge humanitarian travesty be put to the back of my mind, just so that I can stay "comfortable." I will continue to rely on unbiased (or, as unbiased as possible) news networks, such as NPR and MPR to keep me informed of what is happening to these people who only want safety and a place where they can live their lives in peace.
Second, I will continue to find a voice that I can give to this outcry. Yes, I am one voice of many, and yes, I don't know all the particulars of the entire situation that has blown up in Europe and the Middle East. I can't hope to come up with a solution but I can continue to make sure that these people aren't forgotten. I might not be able to do anything, but maybe by continuing talk about the immense tragedy and intense need for a solution, someone who can do something, will.
I always thought that when I grew up, I would have the power to make the world the way I wanted it to be. I'm starting to realize that trying to control the outcome of the entire world is a bit much for a college student to try and take on - especially a music major. But, I will continue to make my corner of the world as awesome and loving as I can. Maybe if we all do that, we can change the world together.
Lastly, I ask all my friends and family, as well as anyone reading this blog, to stay lovingly accepting of others while we all as a global nation process the tragedies that have occurred over the past couple of days. We all process differently, and maybe for some, like me, the only thing we could think to do at the time was change our profile picture filter to be that of the French flag. Trust me, when I did that, I was fully aware of the need for solidarity for all nations that have been affected by the unrest in the world. But it took me weeks to finally come up with coherent thoughts about the entire issue at hand. Some times, we feel like the only thing we can do is change our profile picture. #prayfortheworld
See you next week!
- Jamie
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