Good evening friends!
You all would be proud of me I think because I have done a lot of adulting this past week and weekend. Student teaching continues to be a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Some days go great like on Tuesday when my 1st and 2nd grade students had their winter concert. They did such a great job. They were incredibly patient and stood quietly on those risers for 30 minutes straight. If you don't find this impressive, you should spend a couple of days in the presence of 6 and 7 year-olds. Their songs also went well and most importantly, they looked like they were having fun. Watch out world, my 1st and 2nd grade students are bringing some stellar singers your way! The only hiccup was that one of the students did start throwing up during the concert. My heart broke for her because she obviously wanted to be up there even though she didn't feel well. Also, if you are wondering, no, it still wasn't snowing but it did snow a little bit later in the week!
Some days aren't so great, like when one of my fifth grade classes has that one student who just doesn't want to listen to a thing you say and it really just ruins the entire class for you. The rest of the class was great, but it seems that I still continue to focus on what didn't go right, mostly because I really want him to enjoy the ukulele unit too! My cooperating teacher ended up speaking to him and he was supposed to apologize to me. He didn't but he did cooperate more that next class! It also just so happened that my 4th grade students rocked on their recorders so that really cheered my day up as well.
Something I've noticed with teaching is that your students really suck you in. I really do care so much about them and I want them all to find music as exciting and awesome as I do. So when there are those students who are a little less motivated than the rest, it becomes a game of "How do I get that student to be motivated about ukulele/recorder/Nutcracker/rhythms?" Of course, I suppose that's a good thing because then you are really doing your best to reach out to that student who, for whatever reason, needs a helping hand. I just have to remember to give attention to my other students as well. It's a very fine balance that I'm still figuring out.
Teaching definitely makes you into a very reflective person. A good teacher is always looking inside themselves and at their teaching to see what went well and what can be improved. A lot of times, especially in my experience, this also means admitting when you have made a mistake. This past week I made a small teaching mistake that really confused one of my fifth graders. It was a small change in the way some information was presented, a change I didn't even give a second thought to. Something I've now learned about children, they are not fans of change, especially change in something they are still just learning. Because I changed something so small, this one fifth grade student was so confused and frustrated that she was on the verge of giving up. After encouraging her and coaching her through, she eventually figured it out.
An apology was definitely in order. I apologized for confusing her, explaining that I had no idea such a change would confuse her so badly. I let her know that I was still learning too and that she had taught me a very valuable lesson. By the end of the hour, I think she had started to forgive me.
It's hard to admit you were wrong. It's hard to take ownership of your own screw ups. I see my elementary kids struggle with this concept everyday. It is much easier to convince ourselves that the other person who is upset just doesn't understand and doesn't have grounds for being as upset as they are. Guess what, it really doesn't matter. If you are responsible for offending someone, confusing someone, or hurting someone, an apology is always a good place to start. Adulting means taking responsibility for your actions, even if you are ashamed of those actions. It's hard to own when you've done something wrong, but it is the responsible thing to do.
As a closing, I just want to say how excited I am to be going home to see my family, friends, and fiance this week! I miss them very very much and it has been a long time since I've seen many of them. If you celebrate Thanksgiving, enjoy all of the family company, turkey, mashed potatoes, and fun stories! I'm sure I'll have some to share next week. If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, enjoy whatever days you get off as a result! Be safe, and please, don't go shopping on the night of Thanksgiving. Black Friday should stay in the confines of Friday and not spill over into the family time of others. To h.h.gregg - I don't like you because you are making my aunt work on Thanksgiving so you can sell objects that in the grand scheme of things don't matter. Thanks.
See you guys next week!
- Jamie
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Monday, November 16, 2015
So How Can I Help?
Good evening friends!
Well, the countdown has begun. A week from today, I need to upload my edTPA to the Pearson website. As I type these words, I might be holding an imminent panic attack at bay. Honestly, every time I start to work on edTPA, a panic attack usually ensues. The whole project is just so incredibly big! But, as I've told myself repeatedly, I just need to break it up into small chunks and make sure that I work on those chunks when I say I'm going to. So tomorrow I'm hoping to finish the rough draft of my planning commentary so that I can send it to my advisor to check. Maybe telling the internet will actually make me stick to my own deadlines.
But, this week isn't all work! There is indeed some play to be had! I'm very excited because tomorrow, the 1st and 2nd grade students at my elementary school are giving a winter concert, which is going to rock! Only, I'm not sure the weather knows that we are supposed to be giving a winter-ish concert. It was 60 degrees yesterday and sunny. Granted, it was rainy and 40s today but considering Minnesota has usually had at least one snowstorm by this time of year, rainy and 40s is down right strange. Just watch, next week, when I have to travel for 15 hours over the course of two days, there is going to be a huge snowstorm just because I said something. That's just my luck.
But enough about the weather! Lord knows you aren't interested in what the weather is like up here in the great white north. However, I'm sure all of you have read plenty about what happened in Paris this past Friday, as well as what's been happening in Beirut and Baghdad. This is all of course framed by the general refugee crisis currently going in Europe and Syria as well as the ISIS threat in general. Behold, my next adulting conundrum: wondering what I can possibly do with all this information?
Every day I hear more terrible news about the situation over in Europe and the Middle East. Another city has been bombed, there's been another attack on innocent people, and more people are dying in the streets. While I sit here at my computer, typing this post in my very nice town house that I share with three other women on an expensive laptop surrounded by my book collection and many penguin posters, there are thousands of people suffering right now who wish they could have the advantages that I've had. Maybe they just wish that they felt as safe as I do right now.
Even worse, these people who are suffering are under harsh criticism and scrutiny because we just can't tell who wants to seek asylum and aid versus who wants to hurt others on a massively terrifying scale. These people are suffering from the consequences of radicals' actions, not their own. Most likely, a majority of people don't even identify with the loud and violent minority that wants to bring harm and chaos.
But we are in a pickle too because we don't want to bring people to the United States who are going to harm us. But how can we refuse thousands of people who need help? It's quite the paradox to think about. Also, please know that I can see the validity in both sides of this argument. It's just that ethical and empathetic part of me can't condone turning away anyone who has need.
So I sit here wondering, what on Earth can I do? Because as an ethical and compassionate person, I want to help. However, I lack money to send humanitarian aid to these people. I lack the ability to leave and go to these areas and help who I can.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm not the only one that is at a loss as to what they can do to help this situation. The adulting conundrum is this: what are we supposed to do with all of the information the news gives us, especially when it is so contradictory from network to network, depending on the slant of the news station?
My solution so far is two-fold:
First, I will stay informed. I refuse to let this huge humanitarian travesty be put to the back of my mind, just so that I can stay "comfortable." I will continue to rely on unbiased (or, as unbiased as possible) news networks, such as NPR and MPR to keep me informed of what is happening to these people who only want safety and a place where they can live their lives in peace.
Second, I will continue to find a voice that I can give to this outcry. Yes, I am one voice of many, and yes, I don't know all the particulars of the entire situation that has blown up in Europe and the Middle East. I can't hope to come up with a solution but I can continue to make sure that these people aren't forgotten. I might not be able to do anything, but maybe by continuing talk about the immense tragedy and intense need for a solution, someone who can do something, will.
I always thought that when I grew up, I would have the power to make the world the way I wanted it to be. I'm starting to realize that trying to control the outcome of the entire world is a bit much for a college student to try and take on - especially a music major. But, I will continue to make my corner of the world as awesome and loving as I can. Maybe if we all do that, we can change the world together.
Lastly, I ask all my friends and family, as well as anyone reading this blog, to stay lovingly accepting of others while we all as a global nation process the tragedies that have occurred over the past couple of days. We all process differently, and maybe for some, like me, the only thing we could think to do at the time was change our profile picture filter to be that of the French flag. Trust me, when I did that, I was fully aware of the need for solidarity for all nations that have been affected by the unrest in the world. But it took me weeks to finally come up with coherent thoughts about the entire issue at hand. Some times, we feel like the only thing we can do is change our profile picture. #prayfortheworld
See you next week!
- Jamie
Well, the countdown has begun. A week from today, I need to upload my edTPA to the Pearson website. As I type these words, I might be holding an imminent panic attack at bay. Honestly, every time I start to work on edTPA, a panic attack usually ensues. The whole project is just so incredibly big! But, as I've told myself repeatedly, I just need to break it up into small chunks and make sure that I work on those chunks when I say I'm going to. So tomorrow I'm hoping to finish the rough draft of my planning commentary so that I can send it to my advisor to check. Maybe telling the internet will actually make me stick to my own deadlines.
But, this week isn't all work! There is indeed some play to be had! I'm very excited because tomorrow, the 1st and 2nd grade students at my elementary school are giving a winter concert, which is going to rock! Only, I'm not sure the weather knows that we are supposed to be giving a winter-ish concert. It was 60 degrees yesterday and sunny. Granted, it was rainy and 40s today but considering Minnesota has usually had at least one snowstorm by this time of year, rainy and 40s is down right strange. Just watch, next week, when I have to travel for 15 hours over the course of two days, there is going to be a huge snowstorm just because I said something. That's just my luck.
But enough about the weather! Lord knows you aren't interested in what the weather is like up here in the great white north. However, I'm sure all of you have read plenty about what happened in Paris this past Friday, as well as what's been happening in Beirut and Baghdad. This is all of course framed by the general refugee crisis currently going in Europe and Syria as well as the ISIS threat in general. Behold, my next adulting conundrum: wondering what I can possibly do with all this information?
Every day I hear more terrible news about the situation over in Europe and the Middle East. Another city has been bombed, there's been another attack on innocent people, and more people are dying in the streets. While I sit here at my computer, typing this post in my very nice town house that I share with three other women on an expensive laptop surrounded by my book collection and many penguin posters, there are thousands of people suffering right now who wish they could have the advantages that I've had. Maybe they just wish that they felt as safe as I do right now.
Even worse, these people who are suffering are under harsh criticism and scrutiny because we just can't tell who wants to seek asylum and aid versus who wants to hurt others on a massively terrifying scale. These people are suffering from the consequences of radicals' actions, not their own. Most likely, a majority of people don't even identify with the loud and violent minority that wants to bring harm and chaos.
But we are in a pickle too because we don't want to bring people to the United States who are going to harm us. But how can we refuse thousands of people who need help? It's quite the paradox to think about. Also, please know that I can see the validity in both sides of this argument. It's just that ethical and empathetic part of me can't condone turning away anyone who has need.
So I sit here wondering, what on Earth can I do? Because as an ethical and compassionate person, I want to help. However, I lack money to send humanitarian aid to these people. I lack the ability to leave and go to these areas and help who I can.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm not the only one that is at a loss as to what they can do to help this situation. The adulting conundrum is this: what are we supposed to do with all of the information the news gives us, especially when it is so contradictory from network to network, depending on the slant of the news station?
My solution so far is two-fold:
First, I will stay informed. I refuse to let this huge humanitarian travesty be put to the back of my mind, just so that I can stay "comfortable." I will continue to rely on unbiased (or, as unbiased as possible) news networks, such as NPR and MPR to keep me informed of what is happening to these people who only want safety and a place where they can live their lives in peace.
Second, I will continue to find a voice that I can give to this outcry. Yes, I am one voice of many, and yes, I don't know all the particulars of the entire situation that has blown up in Europe and the Middle East. I can't hope to come up with a solution but I can continue to make sure that these people aren't forgotten. I might not be able to do anything, but maybe by continuing talk about the immense tragedy and intense need for a solution, someone who can do something, will.
I always thought that when I grew up, I would have the power to make the world the way I wanted it to be. I'm starting to realize that trying to control the outcome of the entire world is a bit much for a college student to try and take on - especially a music major. But, I will continue to make my corner of the world as awesome and loving as I can. Maybe if we all do that, we can change the world together.
Lastly, I ask all my friends and family, as well as anyone reading this blog, to stay lovingly accepting of others while we all as a global nation process the tragedies that have occurred over the past couple of days. We all process differently, and maybe for some, like me, the only thing we could think to do at the time was change our profile picture filter to be that of the French flag. Trust me, when I did that, I was fully aware of the need for solidarity for all nations that have been affected by the unrest in the world. But it took me weeks to finally come up with coherent thoughts about the entire issue at hand. Some times, we feel like the only thing we can do is change our profile picture. #prayfortheworld
See you next week!
- Jamie
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Failure - The More Challenging Part of Adulting
Hello friends,
Failure. Absolutely no one likes the word failure or the feelings associated with it. Failure leaves many of us feeling down, lost, and just plain yucky. Some of us are more familiar with failure than others.
In college, I had (have?) a really excellent professor who taught me a very valuable lesson about the subject of failure. His motto is "Do and assess," meaning instead of criticizing yourself as you're doing something, just do it and assess later. It really takes the stress out of learning if you think of it like that. This also takes the stress out of "failing." Instead of thinking as failure as a bad thing, you just look at it as an indicator of where you are in that skill so that you know where to adjust before you do it again and assess again. In this way, failing is a natural and acceptable part of learning.
That being said, this thinking is hard to implement in practice, especially when I've spent most of my life avoiding failure like the plague (as most of us do). Well today friends, I failed. Like I said in my last post, this weekend was Camp Rock: The Musical. To make a long story very short, I ended up losing my temper (which is rare for those if you who might not know) and yelled at one of the students. I let one of them get under my skin and I lost my temper, which is a big no no in teaching. When you lose your temper, you lose control which is never something you want to happen ever, let alone when working with teenagers. At the moment I am very ashamed of myself and intend on apologizing to that student when I see them on Tuesday.
Naturally, I called my mother as soon as I realized what I had done. If you don't know my mom, then you are a deprived human being. My mother is an amazing woman who has taken everything that life has thrown at her and turned it into something great. I truly think she is the best mother in the world. Anyway, I called her to talk about how disappointed I was in myself because I let myself lose my temper like that. She pointed out to me that, yes, I could have handled it better but most likely, the kid would be okay and nothing would come of me continuing to beat myself up. I was able to identify and admit my mistake and now I needed to learn from it and be able to let it go (Frozen anyone?). Well, I'm never going to forget this lesson that's for sure. I'm sure I'm going to continue to feel guilty about this for some time but this experience has taught me a very valuable lesson. Don't let anyone get to you like that. I was the adult in the situation and I chose not to act like one. Luckily, this will never happen again.
Failure has become a hard lesson for me to learn. I didn't fail very much growing up. I almost always acted as my parents expected me to, always got good grades in school, and was very naturally talented at singing and music in general. The few times I did fail, I beat myself up a lot because in my book, I was disappointing both myself and those around me because I knew and they knew I could do better. I think that's the hardest aspect of failing for me to stomach. Knowing that when I fail, I could have done so much better and should have done better. But, as that same college professor says, "Don't should on yourself." Nothing will come of me wishing I could have done better. The reality is that I can't go back and change what happened, no matter how much I want to and it's a waste of my mental and emotional energy to wish that I could. I can only use this experience to do better in the future.
So, in conclusion my friends, we all fail. We hate the feeling of failure, but in the end, failure provides some of the best lessons I've ever been taught in my entire life. I will likely never forget this one. Failure is something that we are all afraid of, but we don't need to be. We all fail sometimes, and that's perfectly okay. It's what we choose to do with that failure that really matters. Own your failures and learn from them because they will make you a stronger person.
Until next time (hopefully with a lighter topic),
Jamie
P.S. Feel free to comment with your thoughts below. You don't have to but I'm always curious to see other people's views on things!
Failure. Absolutely no one likes the word failure or the feelings associated with it. Failure leaves many of us feeling down, lost, and just plain yucky. Some of us are more familiar with failure than others.
In college, I had (have?) a really excellent professor who taught me a very valuable lesson about the subject of failure. His motto is "Do and assess," meaning instead of criticizing yourself as you're doing something, just do it and assess later. It really takes the stress out of learning if you think of it like that. This also takes the stress out of "failing." Instead of thinking as failure as a bad thing, you just look at it as an indicator of where you are in that skill so that you know where to adjust before you do it again and assess again. In this way, failing is a natural and acceptable part of learning.
That being said, this thinking is hard to implement in practice, especially when I've spent most of my life avoiding failure like the plague (as most of us do). Well today friends, I failed. Like I said in my last post, this weekend was Camp Rock: The Musical. To make a long story very short, I ended up losing my temper (which is rare for those if you who might not know) and yelled at one of the students. I let one of them get under my skin and I lost my temper, which is a big no no in teaching. When you lose your temper, you lose control which is never something you want to happen ever, let alone when working with teenagers. At the moment I am very ashamed of myself and intend on apologizing to that student when I see them on Tuesday.
Naturally, I called my mother as soon as I realized what I had done. If you don't know my mom, then you are a deprived human being. My mother is an amazing woman who has taken everything that life has thrown at her and turned it into something great. I truly think she is the best mother in the world. Anyway, I called her to talk about how disappointed I was in myself because I let myself lose my temper like that. She pointed out to me that, yes, I could have handled it better but most likely, the kid would be okay and nothing would come of me continuing to beat myself up. I was able to identify and admit my mistake and now I needed to learn from it and be able to let it go (Frozen anyone?). Well, I'm never going to forget this lesson that's for sure. I'm sure I'm going to continue to feel guilty about this for some time but this experience has taught me a very valuable lesson. Don't let anyone get to you like that. I was the adult in the situation and I chose not to act like one. Luckily, this will never happen again.
Failure has become a hard lesson for me to learn. I didn't fail very much growing up. I almost always acted as my parents expected me to, always got good grades in school, and was very naturally talented at singing and music in general. The few times I did fail, I beat myself up a lot because in my book, I was disappointing both myself and those around me because I knew and they knew I could do better. I think that's the hardest aspect of failing for me to stomach. Knowing that when I fail, I could have done so much better and should have done better. But, as that same college professor says, "Don't should on yourself." Nothing will come of me wishing I could have done better. The reality is that I can't go back and change what happened, no matter how much I want to and it's a waste of my mental and emotional energy to wish that I could. I can only use this experience to do better in the future.
So, in conclusion my friends, we all fail. We hate the feeling of failure, but in the end, failure provides some of the best lessons I've ever been taught in my entire life. I will likely never forget this one. Failure is something that we are all afraid of, but we don't need to be. We all fail sometimes, and that's perfectly okay. It's what we choose to do with that failure that really matters. Own your failures and learn from them because they will make you a stronger person.
Until next time (hopefully with a lighter topic),
Jamie
P.S. Feel free to comment with your thoughts below. You don't have to but I'm always curious to see other people's views on things!
Sunday, November 1, 2015
An Introduction
Hello friends!
So this is my second attempt at a blog. Like many journal-like endeavors I attempt, the last blog kind of died because I was way too busy and wanted to spend my free time doing something else. Reading and video games are two activities that I would much rather do than journal.
However, I know that many of my friends and family are farther away now and are just as busy as I am. With this blog, I wanted to provide a way for those who are interested to keep up on what is going on in my life. Also, a great deal of my posts will have a lot to do with my experience student teaching, a process I am half way through with. I hope that any feelings I express here can help others who will be student teaching, are currently student teaching, or who are teaching in general know that they are not alone. We're all in this together! (Cue cheesy High School Musical music.)
More than anything, this blog is about my transition from being a young adult college student to being an actual adult, hence the title of my blog. My friends and I like to joke and turn the noun adult into the verb, adulting, something that I feel a great many people my age do as well, if social media is any indication. Adulting is the verb that describes all activities college students have to learn how to do in order to function as an "adult." These activities might include, managing a budget, learning how to cook, polishing our interviewing skills, having a job that requires us to have responsibility of more than just ourselves, etc. Student teaching, in a way, is like adult training.
For those if you who might not be aware, I am in the middle of student teaching (if you weren't aware, you didn't read this very closely). I am hoping to become a licensed K-12 music teacher. I just finished 8 awesome weeks teaching grades 5-12, an experience that taught me a great deal about how to create and maintain a choir program. I'm very proud of my high school students especially. They will be putting on Camp Rock: The Musical next weekend and I can't wait to see it! It was really hard to say goodbye to them.
Now, I've started my next 8 week placement in an elementary school, teaching grades PreK-5. I feel like I'm stating the obvious but wow, what a change. I went from spending most of my energy getting my students to be excited about music and having a confident presence on stage to trying to just contain the energy that these small children have. The classroom management is very different as well (I can just hear anyone reading this saying, "Well duh!"). Small children just need so many more reminders of how they need to be behaving in class. It's enough to drive anyone insane.
But don't get my wrong, I love my elementary students. Elementary kids are just incredibly excited for every little thing in their lives. I love how much they want to share and learn. They are positively sponge-like in the way that they can soak up information! My cooperating teacher is also amazing and I have so much to learn from her. She's very patient and passionate about what she does!
Today, I started planning my edTPA. "What's edTPA, Jamie?" Well, edTPA is a big project required by the state and my college to attain a teaching license. I have to plan and teach a series of five lessons and detail exactly how I am going to do everything, how I'm going to accommodate different learners, and all that awesome stuff that teachers need to be doing. It's taking the process that usually goes on in the teacher's mind and putting it on paper for someone to evaluate. It's a valuable tool for sure but it is also very big and intimidating. I might have had a bit of a panic attack when I started it today. I've decided to teach a ukulele unit to my fifth graders for this project and while edTPA terrifies me, I am super excited to be teaching ukulele!
Well, I don't want to overwhelm people on my first post but that's what is happening with me. I'm going to post once a week so I'll see you all next Sunday!
- Jamie
So this is my second attempt at a blog. Like many journal-like endeavors I attempt, the last blog kind of died because I was way too busy and wanted to spend my free time doing something else. Reading and video games are two activities that I would much rather do than journal.
However, I know that many of my friends and family are farther away now and are just as busy as I am. With this blog, I wanted to provide a way for those who are interested to keep up on what is going on in my life. Also, a great deal of my posts will have a lot to do with my experience student teaching, a process I am half way through with. I hope that any feelings I express here can help others who will be student teaching, are currently student teaching, or who are teaching in general know that they are not alone. We're all in this together! (Cue cheesy High School Musical music.)
More than anything, this blog is about my transition from being a young adult college student to being an actual adult, hence the title of my blog. My friends and I like to joke and turn the noun adult into the verb, adulting, something that I feel a great many people my age do as well, if social media is any indication. Adulting is the verb that describes all activities college students have to learn how to do in order to function as an "adult." These activities might include, managing a budget, learning how to cook, polishing our interviewing skills, having a job that requires us to have responsibility of more than just ourselves, etc. Student teaching, in a way, is like adult training.
For those if you who might not be aware, I am in the middle of student teaching (if you weren't aware, you didn't read this very closely). I am hoping to become a licensed K-12 music teacher. I just finished 8 awesome weeks teaching grades 5-12, an experience that taught me a great deal about how to create and maintain a choir program. I'm very proud of my high school students especially. They will be putting on Camp Rock: The Musical next weekend and I can't wait to see it! It was really hard to say goodbye to them.
Now, I've started my next 8 week placement in an elementary school, teaching grades PreK-5. I feel like I'm stating the obvious but wow, what a change. I went from spending most of my energy getting my students to be excited about music and having a confident presence on stage to trying to just contain the energy that these small children have. The classroom management is very different as well (I can just hear anyone reading this saying, "Well duh!"). Small children just need so many more reminders of how they need to be behaving in class. It's enough to drive anyone insane.
But don't get my wrong, I love my elementary students. Elementary kids are just incredibly excited for every little thing in their lives. I love how much they want to share and learn. They are positively sponge-like in the way that they can soak up information! My cooperating teacher is also amazing and I have so much to learn from her. She's very patient and passionate about what she does!
Today, I started planning my edTPA. "What's edTPA, Jamie?" Well, edTPA is a big project required by the state and my college to attain a teaching license. I have to plan and teach a series of five lessons and detail exactly how I am going to do everything, how I'm going to accommodate different learners, and all that awesome stuff that teachers need to be doing. It's taking the process that usually goes on in the teacher's mind and putting it on paper for someone to evaluate. It's a valuable tool for sure but it is also very big and intimidating. I might have had a bit of a panic attack when I started it today. I've decided to teach a ukulele unit to my fifth graders for this project and while edTPA terrifies me, I am super excited to be teaching ukulele!
Well, I don't want to overwhelm people on my first post but that's what is happening with me. I'm going to post once a week so I'll see you all next Sunday!
- Jamie
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